CHAPTER Five:

   Chuck’s farm was ten minutes out of town, to the northern side. It consisted of many acres of fields, most very flat, some gently sloping down towards the farmhouse.

Oats and rye grew waist-high, at their peak for the season. One field was cut, bales dotted the shorn ground. 

   It would have been easy enough for Chuck to wait a week to harvest, then borrow his neighbour’s bale wagon, but he’d wanted to find a job for Lauren. Besides, he’d never put much stock in those new-fangled contraptions. 

   Sweat dripped into Lauren’s eyes as she heaved a heavy bale onto the wagon. As soon as her hands were free, she wiped it away before it could sting at her eyes. She had never worked so hard in her life. The ninety-five degree weather wasn’t helping her situation. 

   “You doin’ all right down there?” Chuck shouted down from the tractor as they drove on towards the last bale. 

   She gave him a thumbs up. “Perfectly fine, thank you!”

   In reality, her arms felt weighed down by chains and burned more with every bale she lifted. Chuck laughed at her, easily seeing through her smile.

   One more bale. She grunted and her face screwed up with effort as she lifted it. It hit the wagon with a thud, and she sighed in relief.

She was done for the day. A good thing too – the last rays of the sunset were already fading. This was a good reminder to be thankful she wasn’t a farmer. She’d never complain about her job at the store again. 

   A cheer nearly escaped her lips, but she thought the better of it and climbed up onto the wagon instead. The hay was pokey, she could feel it even through the legs of her jeans. The tractor pulled the load towards the barn, every bump jostling Lauren. Her body ached.

   “You did well today,” Chuck turned off the tractor and climbed down from his seat. “I’m impressed.” 

   “Thank you, I tried my best.” She shaded a hand and looked out across the field in satisfaction. A feeling of pride swelled as she saw all they had done.

   Chuck clapped her on the shoulder before heading towards the house. She followed him, her footsteps feeling leaden. 

   “Be right back,” he pulled off his boots and went inside. 

   The farm dog peered at her from around the corner of the barn. She could never get it to be friendly, no matter how hard she tried. 

   “So-”

   She spun on her heel and saw Chuck standing in front of her. 

   “I know it’s not much, I can’t afford over fifteen dollars an hour.”

   Lauren knew he never started workers off at that wage. They usually made around eleven dollars an hour, until they were trained. 

   “Thank you,” she took the bills he handed to her and lowered her head. “It means a lot to me, you giving me this job.”

   “Well, I’ve known you since you were a little girl.” He pushed back his hat and scratched at his head. “I think I speak for the whole community when I say you’ve impressed us all by how well you’re getting along. Your grandparents would be proud.”

   She managed a smile in response. If it weren’t for everyone’s support, she could never have made it this far. 

   “Goodnight now.” He stuck his hands in his pockets awkwardly and stepped back through the doorframe. “See you tomorrow. You’d better rest up.”

   “Night.” Lauren waved and turned off the porch. 

   Chickens scattered as she walked around the side of the house to where she’d parked her truck. For once she’d given herself the luxury of driving, and boy was she glad she had. Biking home after that full day would have been agony. 

​

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   Lauren had overdone it. She could tell by the lightheaded feeling she got as the smell of her dinner wafted up to her. A touch of heatstroke, and she regretted not having a bite to eat before heading to the farm. 

   It was late, she’d missed her usual dinnertime by several hours. At least she was clean now, and there was food to eat. 

   “Thank you, Lord, for this new job, for my friends, and for this food. Amen.” She unfolded her hands and picked up her fork. 

   Spaghetti with plain marinara sauce out of the jar wasn’t exactly a gourmet meal, but Lauren hadn’t been able to muster up the energy to make anything else. She leaned back in her chair and savoured each bite. 

   Soon she could go to bed. She couldn’t wait to fall onto the soft mattress and close her eyes. 

   Headlights shone in the window, interrupting the happy picture. She squinted at them. A car had just pulled into the driveway. It was dark out, quarter to ten. Who would show up at such a late hour?

   Lauren pushed herself up, less than thrilled. She moved the curtain aside and peered into the night. It was a dark blue car, one that did not look familiar. She tried to place it – had she seen one around town?
   A woman stepped out and without a second glance at the house, moved to open the back door. She reached in and pulled out a little girl. Lauren estimated that she must be four – maybe five.

   Who is this? She made her way to the door, listening to the footsteps as they clambered up the porch. 

   Knock knock. She sighed and opened the door. 

   The woman stared at her, blue eyes wide. 

   “Hello?” Lauren was hesitant. She didn’t have many people coming to her house thinking it was the wrong address. 

   The wallet. Those eyes looked so familiar, and the realization hit Lauren like a ton of bricks. She pressed a hand to the wall to steady herself. Surely it couldn’t be. Not with a little girl. 

   “Charlotte.” Her voice was wary but certain. “What are you doing here?”
   Charlotte studied the porch flooring, all the charm she’d intended to show had fled when she set eyes on her daughter. 

   Lauren took the opportunity to study the little girl. Brown hair curled around her shoulder, her head bobbed. She looked exhausted. 

   “Hey, Lauren,” Charlotte seemed to remember her mission. “Do you mind if I come in?” 

   Lauren hesitated. She didn’t want her to come in. She wished it was all a bad dream, and she would wake up and life would return to the way it always was. 

But the little girl was blinking sleepily, and she looked up hopefully at her. Lauren moved aside, and let them pass.

   She crossed her arms and watched as Charlotte removed her bright red pumps and deposited them in a heap by the door, not even bothering to aim for the shoe rack.

   “It’s sure late for you to be passing by.” Lauren’s voice was sharp. She didn’t know what to say. This was the first time she’d been in a room with her mother, let alone speaking to her.

   She looked more human than she’d expected. Weary and skittish, like a mouse cornered in a room. It was hard to believe she had such a cold heart – but Lauren knew she did. 

   “Yes,” Charlotte’s gaze darted to the girl. “We were driving through, and it got late. I was hoping we could stay for the night if it’s no trouble.” 

   Lauren winced. She didn’t want to encourage this behaviour. There were two rooms in the cottage, and one of them was empty. She tried to think of an excuse, a reason to say no, but nothing came to mind. 

   “Maybe just tonight.” The words slipped out before she could stop them. 

   “Thank you so much.” 

   Frowning, Lauren led them to the living room. She paused. There were two rooms. Her grandparent’s and hers. Should she really let them stay? She stopped at the closet at the end of the hallway and pulled out a set of sheets. 

   It was a good thing I cleaned my room last night, she mused. She opened the door to it and handed Charlotte the sheets. She wasn’t going to be their maid. 

   Charlotte thanked her. Lauren retreated to the kitchen, trying to settle her nerves and put some space between them. 

   Her appetite was gone. She took her plate and scraped the contents into a Tupperware before putting it in the fridge. Then she stood leaning against the counter, eyes closed, wondering what in the world had gotten into herself. Why had she let them in the house? It was only going to be trouble.

   “Can we talk?” Charlotte stood in the doorframe, hands clasped in front of her. 

   “I think we’d better.” Lauren straightened and led the way to the couch.

   Down the hallway, lamplight glowed from Lauren’s room. The little girl was tucked under the blankets, fast asleep.

   Charlotte perched on the edge of the couch, nervously – thought Lauren. She looked very out of place. She ought to. 

  “Who is the girl?” Lauren’s words were clipped. She already had her suspicions. 

   “Willow.” Charlotte mustered up some charm and flashed a smile. “She’s my daughter. Turned five a few weeks ago.”

   A million responses flashed through Lauren’s mind. How could you? Did my grandparents know? Why did you decide to keep her, but not me? Are you here to dump her too? She tried to convince herself not to jump to conclusions. But there were so many reasons she should.

   “It’s been so many years since I visited. You’ve kept it just the same. Mom and dad were always so neat, you must have inherited it.”

   Lauren’s eyes flashed, and her hands curled into fists. How could she so casually mention ‘mom and dad’? It’s all your fault you haven’t been here so long – Lauren bit back that retort. 

   “Why are you passing through? Where are you going tomorrow?” Lauren’s sentence sounded jumbled. 

   For so long she had imagined meeting her mother, though she hadn’t told anyone. She’d recited the phrases she would say, the words that would cut to the core, and hopefully, cause as much pain as Charlotte had. But now that the moment was finally there, nothing was going the way she’d wanted. 

   “Actually, I’m looking for a job.” Charlotte tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Headed to some interviews.”

   “Oh.”

   “I came by, hoping...” Charlotte stopped mid-sentence and tapped a finger on her cherry lips as she searched for the right words. “I came to ask you a favour.”

   Lauren’s gaze bounced to the ceiling. It was just as she’d feared. Her muscles stiffened. 

   “I’m going through some rough times...” Charlotte continued in a honeyed voice. 

   “Aren’t we all.” 

   Her eyes showed surprise at her retort, as if she hadn’t expected her daughter to stand up to her. Quickly she pushed it away and chuckled. “It’s not easy... being a single mom and all. I was wondering, if maybe...” the words stopped then poured out in a breath, “you could watch Willow for me while I’m gone – just while I go to my interviews.”

   Lauren’s eyebrows shot up, and she gaped at her mother. Couldn’t the woman in front of her seriously ask that, and expect her to even consider the request?

   “You have to understand, the poor girl is tired after travelling so far. And I wouldn’t want to drag her along, don’t you think it would be unfair to her?” Wrinkles formed on her forehead. “It would only be for a couple of weeks at the most.”

   “A couple of weeks! Unfair?!” Lauren’s voice rose. “I have a full-time job. Two jobs actually. You can’t expect me to drop that to be your nanny!”
   Charlotte arched an eyebrow, undeterred by the outburst. “Oh, you’d hardly notice her being around. She is a sweet girl.” 

   Lauren scowled at her. “If she’s so quiet and sweet, why can’t you take her along?”

   Charlotte laughed. “Why don’t you take the night to think about it? I’m sure you’ll have made up your mind by tomorrow morning.” 

   Lauren stared at her in disbelief. She’d explained herself in perfectly clear tones. But Charlotte had the nerve to march into her house, unwelcome, uninvited, and order her around like she was somehow indebted.

   Either she was a dimwit or the most selfish person Lauren had ever met. Most likely the latter, she mused. Charlotte stood up before she could respond, and walked to the bedroom. 

   The door clicked shut behind her. Lauren sat alone in the dim living room, fuming. She had a good mind to throw the guests out of the house that very minute. If it weren’t for Willow, she would have. 

   Charlotte was a thirty-seven year old woman. Unemployed, irresponsible, and she threw her duties on everyone but herself. She wasn’t working to pay off debts, in danger of losing the only home she knew – no, she’d thrown that away herself. 

   Was she even telling the truth about her job? Lauren turned off the light and went to her grandparent’s old room – slamming the door behind her. She curled up on their bed and wished desperately that they were there. 

   In her rush, she didn’t even think to set her alarm. Her routine was already being pushed off-kilter.

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   Lauren resented her. Charlotte didn’t let on that she knew it, but she knew it. Every glance dripped with disdain, from the moment she opened the door, to when she’d nearly fallen off the couch at the suggestion that she look after her sister. 

   Charlotte sighed. If she was being honest, it stung. But she shouldn’t have hoped for anything more. If her expectations were ruined, it was her own fault for setting them so high. 

   Her plans were not going as she had envisioned. There was only one thing on her side. 

   Lauren’s eyes softened every time she looked at Willow. Charlotte was bright enough to notice it. Lauren would enjoy having Willow’s company. All alone in this house, she had to be lonely. Besides, couldn’t everyone use a vacation from work? If she had to cut back on hours, it couldn’t be such a big deal. 

   Charlotte pushed herself up from bed, as silently as she could. Her daughter was still asleep beside her. It was early in the morning. Charlotte hadn’t been able to sleep if she’d wanted to. 

   The room was very familiar. It had once been hers. The walls had used to be lavender, but they’d been painted white, and the squeaky bed she’d slept in as a child was replaced with a glossy wooden frame. Charlotte turned the doorknob and stepped out into the hallway. 

   Everything was silent, shadowy in the early morning darkness. She tiptoed towards the door – careful to miss the squeaky floorboards that she remembered. 

   The door screamed as she opened it, but there was no response from anyone inside. 

Crickets chirped, happy with the cool breeze. Charlotte closed her eyes and breathed in the country air. She was home again. But it wasn’t home. She felt the pull to stay – though that was impossible, and the pull to run. She was undeserving of this place, but she’d never found anything like it in all her searching. 

   The last few stars twinkled in the morning sky. Charlotte stepped off the porch and walked down the hard packed dirt of the driveway. How she’d missed that sight, as it was drowned out by streetlights and skyscrapers. 

   It all took her years back, to a night in the very place where she stood. 

   “Can you count the stars?” Mr. Quinley had held her hand as they stared up at them. 

“No, silly. There’s too many.” 

   A shooting star had shot across the firmament, and she’d pointed at it in wonder.

“Isn’t it amazing? I could watch them all day – or rather all night.” Mr. Quinley had whispered. 

   “My science book says they’re huge. Giant.” Charlotte had whispered back. “We’re so tiny compared.” 

   Mr. Quinley had nodded. “It makes it more wonderful, that God knows our names. That He sent His only Son to die for us, to our little planet. We’re so small, but He still loves us.”

   Charlotte’s heart had felt full that night. Now as she stared up at the sky, she shook her head. It had been so long ago. So many experiences ago. She’d been immature, naive. She hoped God didn’t know her name, because she knew she’d gone too far for His forgiveness. 

   And it was too late to ask for her parents’. She spun in a circle and looked back at the house. If things had been different... But they weren’t. 

   No, this couldn’t be her home anymore. It was never meant for her. She’d find someplace new. A future for herself and Willow, with no baggage attached. Where no one would look down on either of them because of her past. Silver-Bell Creek was not that place.

   She fished her phone out of her pocket and checked her email. Ten unread emails greeted her, seven from prospective employers. She smiled. Surely she’d find a job within a week. 

   “I can’t take Willow with me.” She whispered it, then said it again with more resolve. 

   If an employer saw her, the chance of being hired would plummet. Especially with no dad in the picture. Charlotte hurried to her car and opened the trunk. Willow’s pink suitcase was sitting on the top of the stack. 

   Lauren was going to say no. She was sure of that. Which meant there was no other way out. 

   She grabbed the suitcase and shut the trunk as quietly as she could. There wasn’t much time to spare. 

   Willow was still asleep, her face a peaceful picture. Charlotte set the suitcase next to the bed, then stooped to kiss her daughter’s cheek. 

   “I love you,” she whispered. 

   It wasn’t easy to turn away from her, to say goodbye, without actually saying it. But there was no other way.

   In the kitchen, she rummaged through the drawers. “Come on! She must have a pen in here somewhere.”

   She lifted a stack of papers, and a blue pen rolled out. She clutched it and glanced up at the clock. Five forty-five. 

   “I’m sorry to have to leave you in such a rush. You will no doubt understand. Tell Willow to behave. Of course, I’m not worried about that. Have fun! I’ll be back soon.” She scribbled carelessly across the back of a paper, then in a last minute addition, added her phone number. 

   The note securely on the table, she opened the fridge and grabbed a few fruits. Surely Lauren wouldn’t miss them. 

   Someone was stirring, Charlotte heard a bed creaking. She tiptoed to the door and grabbed her shoes. This time the door was silent as it opened. 

   Once outside, she jogged to the car and opened the door. The engine started easily, and she backed out of the driveway.

  There was the telltale pink glow of sunset on the hills. Charlotte sped towards town. There was only one more stop to make. 

   The lights were just turning on in the police station as she pulled up in front of it. It was six o’clock on the dot.

   Charlotte jumped out and left the car running. The man at the counter barely looked up as she entered the office. He was still turning on the computer and setting up for the day. 

   She figured it must be Aaron Stevens’ son. The resemblance was too uncanny to be a coincidence. From the curly ash hair to the leather jacket he wore – it was not part of the usual uniform. Aaron had always worn one and he didn’t run the station in the usual way. 

   “I lost my wallet in town.” Charlotte stepped up to the counter and was glad she didn’t have to deal with anyone she knew. “Did anyone by chance drop it off here?” She flashed a smile.

   The young man looked up, frozen for a second. “Yes.” He stared at her, then snapped out of it. “Uh. Yes. Lauren dropped it off.” 

   He opened a drawer behind the desk and retrieved the wallet. Charlotte held out her hand. 

   “Did you stop by Lauren’s house?” He didn’t hand it over. 

   “Maybe.” Charlotte reached for the wallet and he finally passed it over. “You know her?”

   “She’s a friend, an honoured member of the community, and she has a heart of gold,” he said. “She deserves to hear from you.”
   Sarcastic comments whirled in Charlotte’s head. She pushed back her annoyance and turned to leave. “Thank you for your opinion. Didn’t ask for it, and don’t want it.” 

   His jaw clenched in annoyance, and his eyebrows lowered. “You know, I thought it might be a positive thing for her to have her mother around. To at least meet her. I must have thought wrong.” 

   Charlotte’s hand froze, inches from the doorknob. “Why do you say that?” 

   “It’s part of my job to judge a person’s character.” 

   “And what have you discovered from this five minute encounter?”

   “You wear your mask well,” he stood up from his chair. “But behind it, you’re selfish. I hope for your sake that there is a seed of kindness somewhere in you. But I wouldn’t want you to stick around, and risk you hurting Lauren.”

   Charlotte swivelled and glared at him. “If you think you can guilt trip me, you’re wrong. I owe her nothing. Go ahead, hurl your insults at me, like the rest of the people in this Godforsaken town, don’t expect me to flinch.”

   She stepped out the door and let it slam behind her. Her conscience pricked her, but she had practiced ignoring it. All the nostalgia that had been making her sentimental was swept away. Now she couldn’t wait to get out of the town, away from the prissy little officer. He knew nothing about her situation. Even if she wanted to be a mother to Lauren – which she didn’t – it was far too late for that. Lauren had made it all too clear.

Still, Charlotte knew she’d made a mistake in insulting the officer. Making enemies of the police was never a good idea. He had the power to cause trouble for her and Willow. 

   Plus, if she ever wanted to speak to Lauren again, she’d do well to remember to be polite to her friends. 

   She drove out of town, leaving behind the regrets and troubles.